What lies on the other side of the curtain of anger…

I created this blog to expose myself, so others can recognize moments of themselves through my bare naked truth. 

It is not all pretty, positive, and the life of the party – this soul of mine.

I have a soul that wants to fight and stand up in the face of wrongdoing I witness happening to others and myself. 

This last 5 years has left me so ultimately broken.  I do not know where I fit in or if I will ever find my place in the community.

I feel so betrayed, used, and I do not have a map on how to get out of this cornfield. 

I am an intelligent human – but I just do not understand what the motive or end-goal could have been, that was or is so important that my life to others is so expendable.

I do not know what to do anymore. I don’t belong anywhere anymore. This is a horribly lonely place to be exiled to.

I am so angry – because why? 

You will understand by the end of this post why this aged issue was resurrected this week and rattled my cage all over again.

Why would this prestigious SEC Investor – Mark Kroloff, have went out of his way to serve himself up as the Expert Witness in the case against me, where I was representing MYSELF? 

I am a simpleton.  I went to Paralegal school.  I am not a lawyer.  Obviously I could not then afford a lawyer, as I cannot now.

One of the first things I was tested on in Paralegal school was, in a civil claim, what would stop you from taking on the plaintiff as a client.

As a simpleton, I answered – why bother if the defendant has no money.

As a defendant in this bogus case, there was no guilty defendant. I was accused of fraud, conspiracy, and conversion.

The financial recipient, Sylvain Analytics, was eventually sued for “debt”.

How can I be sued for fraud, conspiracy of fraud, and conversion when I did not profit or become enriched?

And the recipient of the funds be sued for debt? How is that possible?

Sylvain Analytics – was the business partner of Deloycheet who received the $400k which the then Board President thereafter denied authorizing.

Hpwever, he is recorded on the board audio minutes and in the deposition record admitting otherwise.

I am not so stupid that I would sign my name on the line for a $400k transfer that I would be accused of – as being the beneficiary of. 

If I was going to steal $400k – it would never have made it to Sylvain Analytics bank account. 

Now fast forward to a phone call I receive from Jana Lindemuth.  She was postering because I filed a counterclaim against her client.

She told me, “I am suing you for $400k but if you do not retract your counterclaim, I will attach treble damages – for $1.2 million”.

I laughed and said.  I have no money, I did not do anything wrong – so your $1.2 million is the same as zero dollars.  But I have time, and even if you win I have the rest of my life.

I do not care about titles, credentials, and people brought out guns they did not need for something that has nothing to do with me.

But low and behold, who is Sylvain in bed with now?  Who do I see this week that he is engaging in a joint venture with? Unalakleet Native Corporation. 

If Survival is that drive, Resilience is the vehicle.

People study, businesses are built, and careers are made on describing, documenting, and criticizing legacy leaders.  There is a mysterious essence that successful figures hold.  Are they born with it?  Is it a learned characteristic?  Did they make a “deal with the devil” for it?  The gamut runs wide in speculation.

What is broadly agreed upon is that there is an indescribable human quality legacy-leaders possess. 

Oftentimes it is referred to as that elusive “It” Factor, or “Star Quality”. 

And by the way, this is not a blog post about my leadership or me having anything near an “It” Factor or “Star Quality”!! haha  But bear with me, I will get to my point shortly.

As many may recall, I was selected as the youngest ever President/CEO for the Alaska Native Health Board; the statewide voice on Alaska Native health, wellness and policy.  I did not submit my name to be considered for that position. 

I was a single mom with three young daughters.  I started in a temporary position as the Executive Assistant summer of 1999 with ANHB. 

I was lucky to get that job. 

I was hired at $9.00 an hour on a temporary basis.  That temporary job turned into a full-time position.  I was 29 years old, had just left my long-time boyfriend, and got my first apartment on my own with my three daughters.

I was fortunate to qualify for child care assistance from Cook Inlet Tribal Council in Anchorage. 

I had $80 every two weeks for groceries after rent and utilities.  I do not know how we survived, even now when I look back on those times. 

The landlord let me move into the two-bedroom apartment when all I had was $400.  God puts people in places.  This landlord and his wife were small business owners.  They were chimney-sweeps.  They were my Godsend.

My oldest daughter, Rachel, turned 12 while we lived in this apartment.

I had a conversation with her that went like this: Rachel, you are legally old enough now to babysit your younger sisters.  I want to finish my Bachelor’s Degree so that we can have a better life.  That will take you and me working to make our lives better.  I will have to work as I normally do, and I will be gone in the evenings attending night school. But I promise you that our lives will be better when we get through this part.

Rachel and I made that agreement to work together for the betterment of our family. it was me and her. She was only 12, but I relied on her and put on her great responsibility. She accepted it and followed through with bearing that responsibility too.

Our definition of a better life was simply having more than $80 every two weeks for food.  But when you are in that position, more than $80 every two weeks for food is a huge change for a better life.

There are pivotal moments in your life. If you pay attention, you can recognize them. 

For me, when I recognized these moments and corralled the energy within that moment, amazing life changes took place.

I spent three semesters in night school finishing my Bachelor’s Degree.  The last semester I completed about 32 credits.  It got to the point that I could not extend that schedule out any further. 

6 weeks after completing my degree, I was selected as the President/CEO of the Alaska Native Health Board. 

The significance in accomplishing those two goals is not about the status, prestige or title. 

The significance was that I kept my promise to my daughter, Rachel, and our lives became better. 

Life is a course through different scenarios, challenges, with internal and external drivers. More often than not, we do not have control over most of it.

For me, in the midst of the most dangerous storms in life, I have been able to engage my organic and animalistic trait for basic survival. I am a lot less tolerant now, in a healthy way. I am a lot more skeptical now. I am not so trusting now. And I know for certain now, that all people do not have my best interests in their heart.

The fact remains the same as it always has. And that fact is the power of poverty. Poverty illicits strife. Poverty illicits human behaviors. These behaviors are choices people make. All these choices come from decisions made by someone who lives with that fear-driven button, “fight or flight” having always been pushed.

Self-understanding and self-appreciation is armor. Once you know who you are, no one has the power to successfully redefine you as THEY want you to be seen – good or bad.

Resilience is the vehicle to longevity and survival in life, relationships, career, mind, body and spirit. By embracing my personal traits from that toolbox God has gifted me, I have weathered the storms.

I weathered immaculate storms that ripped me apart, tore me down, and separated me out into a thousand miniscule pieces of sand.

And then I chose to corral the energy of that storm and transformed once again, into a stronger, more self-assured, and better version of me.

We each have our individual gifts that are stored away in our God-given toolboxes.

We all have the tools to be the hero of our own story.

The Rest of My Story

It has taken me 4 years of learning on my own about search engine optimization.

The http://www.nomenugget.com and http://www.nomenugget.net are internet platforms owned by Nugget Publishing Corporation.

This article was written, but it was then manipulated when it was transferred onto the internet.

Changing a newspaper article into a “landing page” is for marketing, advertising, and to be used for purposes other than integrity in reporting.

The person in charge of “production” at the time of this publication was Gloria Karmun. Her niece, Marie Tozier provided the “call to action” statement in the article that is claimed by Diana Haecker to have authored.

Marie Tozier and Becka Baker were the two Sitnasuak shareholders in the audience during the trial that I was representing myself. Chugie Keller was also there for a portion of it and Barbara Amarok was as well.

Chuck Fagerstrom threatened me in 2014 to “be a leader on the board and stop discretionary proxy voting”. He said because of the lawsuit I was involved in, he imagined I did not need ny name on the front page news”.

I did not fall prey to his threats, because quite simply I am not that stupid. There is never any way to make a good faith deal in a bad faith engagement.

Now to have spent all these years to find how they did it, oddly still makes me sad.

I would stop if the lies would stop

I have been asked more than once recently – in so many words – to stop.  But I did not start a fight. I just cannot lie down, roll over, step aside, be silent, or turn my back on people. 

So I have also been asked, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?”

To disarm that myth, I say this. 

I would be happy if people were being treated right. 

There is no happiness in this world otherwise. 

It has never been a measurement of me being right as a factor in the false equation against my happiness.

I do not have that luxury. 

But here is the thing.  I would not ever been aware to START. But, I am one who has been stomped down, spit out, and discarded like a piece of trash.l

Let me correct that, less than trash.  Because those same people would prefer to recycle trash.

Believe me, I would love to be happy over right.  But here is the fatal mistake of the messengers of late. 

My husband and I were married on 8-08-2008.  My father-in-law, Stanley Sobocienski was hospitalized that summer before our wedding.  I went to visit him at the Nome Hospital by myself.  I wanted him to have ample time to recover fully back to health, although I was not fully aware of what hos health issues entailed.

I told him that I was going to postpone the wedding because his health and his presence at our wedding was the most important to me.  I am a family woman and postponing a wedding is easy.  It is not a hardship. 

He and I hugged and stayed in that embrace that day in his hospital bed.  He told me the wedding will go on and he will be healthy enough to be there.

My father-in-law, my husband, and I all left while our wedding reception was in full-swing.  The three of us got on the plane to Amherst, OH – where my father-in-law was born and raised.

I got to spend my honeymoon with my new family and Stan brought me around to his childhood friends and showed me off.  I could never ever have anticipated or expected the best honeymoon anyone could ever asked for.

I got to spend time with and to get to know Aunt Cheryl and Uncle Ed.  I also got to see another side of my husband that I knew existed, but to witness him living openly as the person I know was the most beautiful reaffirmation.

And then later, back in Nome.  Stan’s health went bad again.  Colo called his big sister, Becka to come help.  That day Stan was admitted to the Nome hospital.  Becka gave me a ride to my parents house.

She stood in my parents driveway and told me to turn on my heels, walk away, focus on my girls – because she was going to put her brother (my husband) in the ground. 

She did not hold back in her effort to harm him, me, and now our daughter, Valerie.  Much less my parents.

But here is the thing.  People who act out like this do not ever stop.

So it is not a question that should be directed at me of whether I want to be right or happy. 

Those choices were stripped away from me many, many years ago.

Does Anyone Read this? Ever?

Look, I am a practical person, logical thinker, with deductive reasoning skills. That is the core makeup of Alaska Native’s instinct, innovation, and high-level skill to survive in the Arctic.

As such, those teachings passed down through the generations of my family, are transferrable to a wide variety of applications.

So for me, human nature and human integrity is very simple. Are you doing what you said you were going to do? Have you taken personal accountability and responsibility when you did something wrong, or someone within your team did – and as a leader – you accept accountability?

If you have a platform for an election – are the people you are representing involved with the process of negotiating if or how they rank on you list of priorities? Are they involved with creating the definition of their culture?

Maybe all on this list of “Who We Serve” were completely involved.

I would assume that based on President Obama’s commitment to Tribal Consultation and face-time with folks, that precedent was carried into the creation of the 2020 Democratic Platform – at least for the portion of “Who We Serve”.

For me, and I am certain anyone who reads anything I have to say, knows I am a third generation Republican Alaska Native woman. However, I am a daughter first, a sister second, a student third, and the rest is thereafter – chronologically…

So my point is this: as an Alaska Native indigenous woman, I am APALLED to see how far down the list that Native American’s are on the “Who We Serve” portion of the Democratic Party Platform.

The list is also not a reflection of Native American values either.

Elders, for instance. Did you see that they were almost at the end of the list?

What about WOMEN?

Murdered and Missing Indigenous Woman is a huge National Movement.

But not for the Democratic Party Platform of “Who We Serve”.

To me, and as the rule goes – “take what you like, and leave the rest” – certainly applies here:

I see the Democratic Party Platform of “Who We Serve” as Return on Investment or Revenue Centers to clinch the Presidency in 2020.

Considering African Americans are first is a tell in itself; however not suprising. But the deviation in ‘data-speak’ is the Democratic Party’s second population on their list of, “Who We Serve” – Americans with Disabilities.

Now let me make this extremely clear.

The point I am driving home is not about the validity or to drive a wedge between various segments in our American-ism. It is much more sinister than that:

For years when I was growing up – I would hear stories from leaders at my village corporation about how they would go down to front street and have the drunk and homeless people sign their proxy, as they were shareholders.

That is what makes me throw up a little in my mouth and pray to God and everything good in this world that the most vulnerable of all are not being used again.

Is Public Media in a Quid Pro Quo Relationship with the Democratic Party?

The purpose of this blog is to showcase how the internet is misused – by “brands” like NPR, PBS, Alaska Public Media, AND the ASSOCIATED PRESS.

First, is a quote I pulled from the Democratic Party website from their “2020 Campaign Platform”.

The paragraphs below that demonstrate how “Alaska Public Media” articles are Optimized so that it is easy to transfer those articles to blogs like this one. The Associated Press article was UNDER-OPTIMIZED to make that news story harder to identify, locate, and make available. Read on to learn more…

WHO WE SERVE

“Democrats are the party of inclusion. We know that diversity is not our problem—it is our promise. As Democrats, we respect differences of perspective and belief, and pledge to work together to move this country forward, even when we disagree … we do not merely seek common ground—we strive to reach higher ground. ”DEMOCRATIC PARTY PLATFORM

2020 CAMPAIGN Platform of the democtratic party

By Tegan Hanlon, Alaska’s Energy Desk – Anchorage -February 22, 2021

By Tegan Hanlon, Alaska’s Energy Desk – Anchorage -February 26, 2021

The articles above are made on purpose by Search Engine Optimized tools to be easily seen and transferrable across platforms (embed).

The article below published online today by the Associated Press – is Search Engine Under-Optimized – it cannot be embed – and the “LINK” does not even say what the actual article TITLE is.

https://apnews.com/article/alaska-bears-wildlife-polar-bears-d87c1835a684f6faae82d10b39eceb9d

This is the REAL Headline and the lead paragraph to the apnews.com link directly above:

Alaska Native corp cites agency inaction for missed deadline

By BECKY BOHRER

JUNEAU, Alaska (AP) — An Alaska Native corporation said it was unable to meet a deadline for aerial surveys of polar bear dens in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge because a federal agency did not issue the necessary authorization in a timely manner.

The Kaktovik Inupiat Corp. also took issue with what it calls a “blatant mischaracterization” of what happened and says it is owed an apology.

On Saturday, Melissa Schwartz, a spokesperson for the U.S. Department of Interior, said the corporation had confirmed to U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service officials that den detection surveys had not been conducted by a Feb. 13 deadline.

What is important in this blog post includes:

  1. The Democrat Party 2020 Campaign Platform and Statement at the top of this post is was a DECLARATION to get US Citizens to motivate them to vote for Democrats.
  2. But the Democratic Administration not only lied about that above statement, they attacked the Kaktovik Inupiat People as if they are stupid, inept, or irresponsible.
  3. And then as if that is not bad enough, there is the misuse of publicly funded media outlets.
  4. Let’s take a look at that:
  5. These articles were manipulated to either be widely available or UN-available online.
  6. Freedom of the Press in the U.S. Constitution is ONLY in place to protect journalists from government retaliation and to serve as “a” watchdog over the government.
  7. Freedom of the Press in the U.S. Constitution does not protect the acts of people, corporations, publications, consultants, even journalists themselves, from consequences for manipulating how those articles are optimized or under-optimized to be widely available or unavailable online.
  8. I am not even touching on the content – including the misleading photos that are of caribou.
  9. Polar Bear “dens” were the criteria that the Biden Administration cited.
  10. I am certain about the one thing. ..As we know in the Arctic, there is way more underneath the water going on with an iceberg – than what we can see above the water.

Not only does embedding capabilities across online platforms filter messaging.

It conditions the free will of humans to believe it is our individual free will choices, when really we are lab rats – being led to a pre-determined outcome.

And then it uses artificial intelligence and automation to force and create a false sense of choice by humans without the oversight of a human.

Read any definition of
“embedding” and “landing pages”.

Climate Change Predictions – The Revived Opportunity For Professor Emeritus’ Predictable Return to have yet another day in the Sun..

I have 2 comments (otherwise known as a football minute – or an attorney speaking in billable hours, or the diatribe of a sunsetting lecturer). The point being, bear with me.

1) Regardless of the professional and educational credentials of the scientific researchers conducting these weather prediction or climate change studies – look to see who financed the study.

Follow the money. 

2) The best data indicator for weather is still the American Farmer’s Almanac, which began in 1818. https://www.farmersalmanac.com/weather-history

Farmer’s understand the natural world and respect the wonders of our world – more closely aligned with Native Americans than any other industry.

This is why:

Generational families of farmers share the same core need of survival equal to Native Americans.

As an Inupiaq and Yupik woman, we call it subsistence. They call it farming.

The core values of both groups are tied directly to the most basic needs for survival. Those values are engrained in our DNA and include:

Respecting the land.

Responsible utilization of resources.

Knowing how to be innovative and adaptable to respond to changes from the environment.

A higher level of expertise in using all of the common “five senses” and intuition to analyze, make rapid decisions, delegate, and execute direction to survive.

Those inherent ways of being are not manufactured because we are needing to find our place in society by being charitable.

We either live and honor the rules of Mother Nature, or we die.

Mother Nature is not in the business if charity.

Living off the land is not a country club, cigar bar, or political fundraiser event.

When your survival comes directly from living off the land, you can find commonalities in belief systems between subsistence lifestyle and the farming populations. 

Our worldview is not to take up a “cause” to protect the land.  

Anything that becomes a “cause” is manufactured by privileged human’s choice. 

When thousands of years and hundreds of generations in your direct bloodline depends on the land and sea to survive, it is not a choice or fashionable trend. It is not an educated dinner party debate that we send out invitations for, hire caterers for, and have servers bring us eight courses of food that we do not eat because we have to maintain a size 2 figure.

We respect the land and honor the unpredictability of Mother Nature.

Climate Change is guaranteed it is Mother Nature. We do not control Mother Nature, we are to be adaptable.

But most of all being disrespectful of Mother Nature is what makes this a “cause” manufactured.

And this is WHAT THAT MEANS:

There are the groups of people that created this unattainable “issue” of predicting climate change, blaming others for it, and polarizing populations as a result.

Who does these acts of disrespecting Mother Nature?

* People that have money and need a tax write-off by donating to a “cause”.

* People that get funding for never-ending studies.

* Political strategists and political factions.

* Special interest groups – who also get money.

BE WEARY

Of trusting those that work together and created a manufactured “cause”.

Learn how to identify if they crossed the line by manufacturing a “flavor of the day” cause.

Their motive’s are generally derived from simple “wants” and not “needs” in the hierarchy of survival.

Examples of their motives (wants or desires):

* To fulfill some gaping hole in themselves stemming from unaddressed issues of whatever happened to them in their own lives.

* Ego for a “cause”.

* Adventure.

*Heroism.

* Superiority – Paternalism.

* Power.

* Money.

THINGS TO ASK YOURSELF AND OTHERS

Has there been any recent “fact checks” or social media “take-downs” regarding old research studies from decades ago that predicted “science-based” end of the world – political and societal call-to-actions that have not come to fruition?

Are these people at dinner parties, being served $1500 plates of food that they do not eat, funding bogus “research” to manufacture false legitimacy of said “cause”?

Are the people, politicians, special-interest groups, universities, foundations, etc. carrying out their own agendas and forcing their own will, while concurrently disregarding the authentic data-holders/knowledge holders?

Are they funding scientists, foundations, and universities to “create” a source of secondary research and then using that secondary research as if it were the original or primary data source?

Sometimes there are causes that are created, manufactured, packaged, and sold – and not so ironically – by opposing industries to the one they are trying to wipe out.

Causes are a tool used by many people, who are not authentic.

But they have the means, motive and opportunity to conduct market research.

The purpose of market research is to find what motivates people to act one way or another.

They then execute that strategy based on what issues trigger “the everyday man”.  Those triggers are what defines the “cause”

That trigger is then packaged into a “cause” to motivate a mass of people to do what it is the privileged want accomplished.

In scientific experiments and research studies, you have a theory. You define some factor to test that theory against.

The outcome is then whatever it ends up being – whether the theory was proven or not.

What happens nowadays is the the outcome is defined first. The call-to-action is the motive of the research.

“This is what we want people to do”

Others – with the means (rich) create an opportunity (offering funding) for universities, scientists and researchers to create “secondary research” studies and papers to use as citation references.

These references are manufactured to add credence to whatever the “cause” that was predetermined. Ultimately, it is to get people to act one way or another.

That “cause” is analyzed for longevity, return on investment, loyalty, all the relative economic indicators of priority.

Then ultimately, the cause is decided upon by least dollar investment compared to highest yield of return, i.e. making people do what they want them to do, with the least amount of money invested.

Also, if time is of the essence, other factors become the priority to achieve the end goal. Initial cost can become less of a priority, depending on the urgency factor.

But think deeper about what a “cause” is really about. Look who is financing the research, then look at those financers and see who they are investing in other areas, such as radical special interest groups.

If you are younger and idealistic in wanting to change the world, do your due diligence deeper before attaching your integrity to a cause. Do not sign on just for the purpose of being an activist on an adventure.

My Auntie Pudden and Uncle Eep

She and I butted heads every time. And that did not define our relationship. Because she is who I went to.

She was one of the first community health aides in Alaska. Years later, when I was 26, I went yo her because I was struggling emotionally.

I was working as the board secretary at the Norton Sound Health Corporation. And I loved all the board members from the 15 villages and their families.

Then people started dying. Family members of the board folks that I grew to love – and their pain reverberated through me and bounced around the walls of my skin – and I could not shake it off.

So I went to see my Aunt Pudden. She had an oxygen tank and tubes all over the apartment – resembled a vacuum cleaner and the vacuum cord strung around.

My Uncle is like my dad. They just know how to disappear. I remember asking my Aunt – how did she do it? How did she handle the grief being a health aide.

I do not remember if she answered me directly. I do not remember the answer. Damn if there was one, that is one I would live to recall.

I do remember her telling me that through all the years she and Uncle were together, she never truly believed he loved her.

Because she felt unlovable and did not believe it was true.

That I remember clearly and I was shocked.

She ssid she finally realized how much he loved her when she got terminally sick.

He had the doctors teach him every single pill she needed, what for, how often and put them in a pill container-organizer.

She was always vibrant and talented and maybe she thought that if she was not all that she would lise his interest.

But she is his favorite person to rile up. Their romance was so precious. All the things she didn’t like about herself, were the parts he loved the most.

And I know this because he would say some smartass thing and get her cussing him out, and he would look at me with a twinkle in his eye, the happiest smirk, and wink. He loved her feistiness.

Me too.

My next series..ANC Shareholder Rights

The Alaska Native Claims Settlement Act (ANCSA) was made a law December 18, 1971.

That title of this law, in my opinion, leaves out the word, “land” on purpose.

Because there can only be a settlement between people.  The land and cash was the monetary value of the settlement between the United States and the Alaska Native people.

But the structure, and certainly the people were an afterthought or at least not central to the original act.

Alaska Natives and Indigenous People do not share the same value systems as the westernized world.

This is an Act that demonstrates leadership by all Americans, the new (outsiders) and the Indigenous (landowners).

Here is the “secret”about a “settlement”.  It sounds so warm and fuzzy. But it is not.

The reality of a settlement is like this:

Both parties just walked away feeling like they just got fucked – but the worst part is – both sides of the lawsuit are talked into signing their consent AFTER the violating act of being fucked, and not before.

There is no closure. 

I have only identified myself as a part of the “we” as a culture.  Being just “me” is something I struggle with because it feels foreign and unfamiliar.

I was raised, nurtured and taught how to think of who I am.  And I am forever grateful for that. I get to live for greater good first, naturally.

Then suddenly to experience that the “we” community does not care about me at all, as an individual in that community. My whole self-identity, my reality of the world and people was gone.

But you get told by the lawyers, “we have so much evidence”. 

“We will go through this mediation but we will do not have to settle”. 

And this is legal advise given at the moment of time that the defendants had not complied with the court schedule of discovery. 

And we told our attorneys over and over, why would we mediate when we have not gone through discovery? 

But we were convinced that this was a prudent exercise. 

And then through the course of mediation, the legal advice changed.

Was it in part the fact that a newly retired Supreme Court Justice was the mediator? 

I know what I was told. 

I was told that even though I was personally targeted – and even though I was a board member – that it was still my fiduciary duty to the corporation to settle, because that would demonstrate me exercising my fiduciary duty.   

And I did, because we are raised as we and the “I” doesn’t matter.

But that, “I” matters a lot to those same people that tell you that you do not.    

And they tell you how much you do not matter by minimizing you, disregarding you, wanting you to do the work and funnel it through them. Or only reach out to you, if they feel they need you – for information, for your expertise, or to appropriate your power as their own.

I guarantee you, you will not receive a call from them because they give a shit about you.

You get a call because you have something they need. Therefore you are useful at the moment.

Dear Lord, let that not be me.