You Wanna Know a Secret About Me?

I was put into a sleeping bag and suffocated by the babysitters my parents trusted to leave me with.

I don’t know if I was 3 years old yet.

I remember going limp, but I do not remember waking up.

I don’t believe I really ever fully woke up again.

But God, I am trying. I am trying so hard. And if I never can fully, I hope what I am saying helps another girl.

I left my counselor when he told me to look at what happened to me with my own eyes.

I never went to see him again.

Because feeling it is hard enough.

Forcing yourself to actually see it, I don’t know if I can ever come back from that.

But girls, anyone.

Know this:

If you find someone like I trusted that tells you to see it.

You should.

Because I am stuck in limbo. And I am spinning and floating and I have no sense of gravity or balance.

Do not be like me, be stronger. Trust someone.