Dear Diary -12/15/2020

I think I blew it today.

I had an interview.  I was told it was a phone interview.  But for me, I err on the side of over preparedness versus what could be a “miscommunication”.

Because I experienced ‘miscommunications’ in the past that I trusted – which left me appearing unprepared, unprofessional, flippant, or disrespectful.

I haven’t had an invitation to be interviewed for a professional and permanent position in many years. I was a lot more nervous than I anticipated.

I want this so much that I focused on making myself small. I found myself doing this because I don’t know the dynamics of the interpersonal relationships, conflicts, and /or synergies currently in place.

I just have to turn this all over. This is what I love and believe: I am steadfast in my  hope based on the original idealism of America. 

The Bill of Rights is what resonates with me.  The Bill of Rights communicate to me what I can connect to.  The Bill of Rights transcend beyond the worst intended acts against me.  The Bill if Rights tell me that there is a place in this world for me.  The Bill of Rights does not dictate, judge, consider, or even ask what my values and cultural beliefs are.

The Bill of Rights guarantees my personal freedom to pursue my own self-defined happiness.

Please Lord, to force upon me your peace and grace.