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Diary Entries

‘Hope costs nothing to give, but is Priceless to Receive”…

I made this comment to my friend that I respect and adore, Martha.

Fast forward a week or two to today. My mom and I had a date to attend President Trump’s rally in Bullhead City. She and I have the best mother-daughter dates ever in the history of such a thing.

I was contemplating this monumental event and the joy and hope our President gives.

Then my mind wandered back to the fact that he transferred all his assets and company controls — without being told to or expected to – as he moved into his role as the United States President of America.

As I was so blessed with the events of this day, it struck me.

He gave away his property, authority, control, and power.

Why would anyone do that?

Because he recognized that the hopeless will only receive a message of hope from someone who is truly sharing it freely.

God Bless America, God bless President Donald J. Trump.

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Romanticizing no law enforcement and “socialized” health care

I was on the Denali Commission Health Care “Committee-Board” whatever. The latest random white guy appointed as the State of Alaska Commissioner of Health was (by position) the Chairman of this entity too.

I shit you not, the protocol to allocate multi-millions of dollars throughout rural Alaska for health care infrastructure was thumbs up or thumbs down.

There was no tangible criteria or anything to prioritze. I just sat there in dumbfounded ahh about the lack of accountability the Denali Commission was required for the massive amount of money they received and more importantly how it was spent. As the President/CEO of the Alaska Native Health Board, who facilitated the Alaska Tribal Health Caucus and oversaw the annual negotiations between the Tribal Health entities and the federal government; there was never a carte-blanche distribution of funds.

So sitting in this health committee or whatever that was supposed to be at the Denali Commission, this is how it went.

Some guy (old white guy who never lived in Alaska) was appointed as the State Health commissioner. As such, that State of Alaska Health Commissioner appointment came with the extra entitlement of being the Chairman of the Denali Commission Health Committee.

I describe this guy not for anything more than painting a picture of his description. And I give him more respect in his description than how he voiced his assumptions about the rural communities and rural people he was in charge of.

There was a massive amount of money appropriated to the Denali Commission. The Denali Commission was created (in part) to be this paternalist quasi-governmental agency serve as the ‘pass-through’ entity and authority to decide which villages would be granted funding to have small health clinics and medium health clinics built.

St. Lawrence Island had a need for two separate health clinics.

This Commissioner of Health for the State of Alaska – in his entitled role as the Chair of the Denali Commission was outraged by the proposal for two separate clinics on one Alaskan island.

He was outraged that rural Alaska native communities would expect such a crazy amount of money for two clinics; when he said – they should have one built in the middle of the island and residents of Gambell and Savoonga could share that one medium-sized clinic.

I was darting my eyes around the room in shock and appall. And at that time, I was a newly-selected President/CEO of the Alaska Native Health Board; 30 years old; having a cultural upbringing not to be confrontational; and being confrontational was a sign of disrespect especially if it were an elder speaking; and white people were the most revered.

So I am sorry. But the way this man characterized people from my region – demeaning them as like greedy or entitled pissed me off. That shit I did not sit quiet about.

This old white guy, never went to anyplace in Alaska. He was a Frank Murkowski appointee; when Frank became Governor.

I may have been more patient, tolerant, or kind if he first asked for thoughts from the people around the table. But he did not, and he chose to judge the people and demean them straight-away.

I lost my cool and stepped way outside of my cultural etiquette right then and there.

Needless to say, he had a ‘coming to Jesus’ moment and realized two clinics on St. Lawrence Island was indeed appropriate.

Although, even to this day; I myself have never stepped foot on St. Lawrence Island; I know there is a mountain range between Gambell and Savoonga. It was a somber awakening to me about the people put in charge of making decisions on our behalf in rural Alaska.

I would have been more comfortable if we were all sitting around a table in a bar so I could really tell him about himself. But we were not; I could not, so I did not. But he got the message. Gambell and Savoonga got the funding for their separate clinics on their singular place of existance, St. Lawrence Island.

I realized then that what Carolyn (Michaels) Crowder told me years before was true. She said that we are the experts. I loved and respected her authority as an expert; but I was not able to connect those dots back to me, until that moment at the Denali Commission.

Still, rising above the bullshit others so freely get to throw with utter disregard for anyone outside their tiny world view; was only tolerable because I concurrently fantasized about snatching the lips off his face, while I was being just grateful enough to loosen up the ties he been chosen to hold over people like me.

Obviously, I’ve gotten more comfortable in my own skin since way back then. I am no longer the best choice to advocate through a “yes masser” gratefulness message.

That is just the tip of the iceberg.

I am escorting people on a tour to see and experience the reality of socialized health care and romanticizing no law enforcement in America. Strap on your seat belts…

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Diary Entries

Why I love President Trump

I do not have to worry about what he is thinking.

I do not have to tabulate between what he promises and what he does.

He is not a corporate puppet because they cannot buy him.

He made radical fiscal decisions to help individual Americans during this pandemic.

He is not about systems.

He is about breaking down governmental silos and antiquated systems to get to the direct needs of Individual American people.

The only systemic racism is deeply embedded in the political platform of the Democratic Party.

Republicans advocate for individual freedoms for each and every human. Republicans are the opposite of creating and perpetuating systems. .

Systemic racism is the exact same thing as government paternalism.

Growing government to expand and perpetuate this “caretaker” role over Americans is systemic racism.

I am like a real life test dummy who has never been approached or asked about the socialized healthcare system – otherwise known as the Indian Health Care System.

Socialized healthcare means that doctors no longer have to buy medical malpractice insurance and no longer have any accountability for their performance on the patients.

Socialist healthcare is alive in America. The Indian Health Care System and The Veteran Affairs Health System.

IHS and VA doctors are protected by Federal Tort Claims Act (FTCA).

They do not have medical malpractice insurance.

There is no record of IHS and VA doctors for patients like me can research to make an educated decision about we want and do not want in charge of our healthcare.

Veterans only get access to the VA health services if they can prove they are poor enough to qualify and be reviewed for eligibility!!

A lawyer told me that he represented a handful of Alaska Native plaintiffs at different times for medical malpractice against the Indian Health Care doctor.

He said the doctors being sued do not even show up.

Any money awarded to Plaintiff comes directly out if the United States of America Department of Treasury.

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Diary Entries

Racketeering Lawsuit

I am a student of the Jack Welch Management Institute. My first quarter I was selected to ask Jack Welch a question. I asked him for advice on how to deal with an Alaskan Native Corporation, created by Congress, 50 years ago, now being awarded multi-million government contracts that require top secret clearance; when the only criteria to serve on these boards is to be 18 years old and a shareholder? The Dean of our school was moderating the discussion. He told me that only one other student ever stumped Jack Welch the way I did. I did not feel happy about that. I really wanted an answer.

This is the lawsuit I filed against the defendants you can read for yourself. I am attaching the Complaint..

These people have not been served yet. The Judge needs to decide if he will allow me to file this case as a person in poverty. He has not addressed that initial motion; therefore the Complaint for Racketeering, Willful and Wanton Defamation is in limbo.

United States District Court
District of Nevada (Las Vegas)
CIVIL DOCKET FOR CASE #: 2:20-cv-01703-KJD-VCF


Sobocienski v. Haeker et al
Assigned to: Judge Kent J. Dawson
Referred to: Magistrate Judge Cam Ferenbach
Cause: 18:1961 Racketeering (RICO) Act

Date Filed: 09/14/2020
Jury Demand: None
Nature of Suit: 470 Racketeer/Corrupt Organization
Jurisdiction: Federal Question
Plaintiff
Trudy Sobocienskirepresented byTrudy Sobocienski
3657 Teak Crest Dr
Las Vegas, NV 89147
907-306-5745
PRO SE

V.
Defendant
Diana Haeker
Defendant
Gloria Karmun
Defendant
Peggy Fagerstrom
Defendant
Chuck Fagerstrom
Defendant
Charles Fagerstrom
Defendant
Barbara Amarok
Defendant
Edna Becka Baker
Defendant
Marie Tozier
Defendant
Austin Ahmasuk
Defendant
Nugget Newspaper
Date Filed#Docket Text
09/14/2020 Case randomly assigned to Judge Kent J. Dawson and Magistrate Judge Cam Ferenbach. (RT) (Entered: 09/15/2020)
09/14/20201 APPLICATION for Leave to Proceed in forma pauperis by Plaintiff Trudy Sobocienski. (Attachments: # 1 Civil Cover Sheet, # 2 Summons, # 3 Complaint) (HAM) (Entered: 09/15/2020)
09/23/20202 PROPOSED SUMMONS to be issued as to all Defendants by Plaintiff Trudy Sobocienski. (HAM) (Entered: 09/23/2020)
10/16/20203 NOTICE of Submission of Proposed Order Approving Application for Leave to Proceed in forma pauperis by Trudy Sobocienski. (HAM) (Entered: 10/16/2020)

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Diary Entries

The Face of the Child – Sexual Abuse Stays in the Child’s Eyes and their lens of how they see the world

The filter that you see the world forever more through your eyes

I am wicked pissed.

The benefit of the doubt given to monsters because of who they are instead of what they do.

Look at this picture.

I ‘googled’ a search for images of powerful adults over children. There is nothing – no images on this globally dominated search engine we call Google.

I am sickened that people I know and respect will pick a part the person who lost their mind because of the insanity of the powerlessness they knew they were under.

At the same time, the predator keeps his composure, uses his resources, and gaslights the woman by saying she is crazy, jealous, unstable, oh and my favorite – “looking for attention” and has her arrested.

This is just enough to make me feel hopeless and suicidal. How can I have hope anymore when I have held on through the worldview and lens that I did?

Where is the hope when the people protect the predator?

We are all supposed to have a place in society.

Did someone not tell me that our Inupiaq and Yupik culture is that children like me were just sexual toys?

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October 10, 2010 and today; October 10, 2020 – God’s Word

Have I ever shared the love story of my parents? Their’s is a love that was meant to be; just because it is a continuation and the beginning of all eternity. Time and time and time, is mathmetic. What is acknowledged as true, scientifically, is the abyss of infinity.

And with infinity validates eternity, longevity, a snapshot in time, a moment, 15 minutes of fame, and a love that transcends time; because the fact remains that love conquers all.

Today is my parents 51st anniversary.

They met in Fairbanks Alaska on a double date. They were the date of the other two on that occasion. It was a Friday night. October 3rd, 1969.

5 hours after my mom and dad met each other while on a double date where they were not dating each other; my dad proposed to my mom.

They were married 7 days later, October 10, 1969. They have been together, they know each other, they (guaranteed) resented each other, and have this magnetic pull toward each other that obstacles cannot break. Even if they were the obstacle from time to time.

I have been so blessed to have these parents who are truly each other’s other half. They balance each other. Their love is what has been my guiding light and my North Star.

I share some incredibly private experiences of my life. Most of which my parents never knew was happening.

And the reason they didn’t is because they talked to me, they had my back. When I was around 12 or so, my dad told me that he had to rely on the values he taught me up to that point, because i was going to turn into a teenager that doesn’t believe anything he has to say.

But more than saying that, he and my mom actually believed and followed through with giving me the wide open space to explore life, make mistakes, fail, act like an ass, and succeed without apology.

Forever and always, I am first the daughter of Babe and Irene Anderson. I strive to not fuck that up colossally.

I love you, Mom and Dad

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Diary Entries

Rose colored glasses and reality

God bless Joe Biden and the rest of the cult.

I am an Alaska Native, Inupiaq, Yupik, Russian, Norwegian woman sprinkled with the blessing of additional bloodlines from around the globe.

I grew up in rural Alaska – remote Alaska. Villages in the United States of America that Secretary Tommy Thompson described as 4th World conditions. These are the places where me and my friends and family grew up – and the way I grew up with my worldview was described as beyond the third world living other people live in throughout our world who receive the rightful attention and concern on the global stage; by United States politicians and celebrities.

Domestically, where I come from, what I have as a first-hand world view experience of what life could be compared to what is – does not add up when I listen to the lies I hear – oh my God, even worse – witness the Democratic leadership orchestrating unlawfulness and ignorantly or maybe purposefully pushing socialized health care and villainizing entire systems of law, order, security and safety – in the name of minorities.

The latest bad word has been “appropriating” culture.

This bullshit is way worse. I will not be anyone’s token native; I have never assigned my personal perspective to anyone to speak on my behalf.

No one gets to assume they know the solution for me and my life.

These Democrats say, “Systemic” Racism because Democrats think of individual people through their systemic world view.

I have been to the Holocausts Museum in Washington DC more than once.

The real life truth is that Hitler used the United States Manifesto on how Native Americans were conquered for his inspiration.

The simple and core value shared between my ancestors and the new americans that brokered a “coming together” of the minds with Treaty Agreements is that Americans came here and revolted in the effort to create autonomy of freedom.

Autonomy of freedom is absolutely opposite of systems of oppression, systems of anything. American people are not and do not want to continue to be caught up in the system.

That is why I am a third generation Republican.

But let me take you to the dark side. Walk with me as I escort you through what makes me qualified to have an opinion on this bullshit.

First hand, I know and lived through and will forever have a skewed sense of law enforcement. But not in the way it sounds. In a way that there was none there, still is little to none there.

You think the answer is removing law and order? Well that is some stupid, wanton and willful endangerment of human life.

This is chaos. This is exactly the same as President Richard Nixon’s statement, “I did not think it was illegal, because I was the President.”

Well, before the low class, bottom feeders try to attack this comparison and twist it to our current President; let me save you the embarrassment.

President Nixon, claimed his shortfall. He took accountability and responsibility. That is what great leaders do.

What we have here that parallels with one of my favorite President’s – President Nixon’s lapse of judgement, is that he basically said, “because of who I am, nothing was illegal”. But he went on to say, “However, I realize now that others do not share my thoughts.” (Along that line of assertion.)

We have a political class, a group of self-proclaimed “elitists” who are the definition of entitlement doing illegal acts to no end because of who they think they are. And worse, while appropriating culture; they hold up their token “Natives” and speak on their behalf to protect the “systems” that are there to “protect them”.

What a fucking crock of shit. It is a situation where these people think that because who they are; the rules and illegal acts do not apply to them. However, this is a diabolical cult because they do not care and have no integrity to embrace what the people want instead of influence and mold people into what serves them.

__________________________________

Let me bring this home.

I was 14 years old drinking in Takotna. My Uncle David was passed out or out of town. But I was behind the bar serving drinks to the Airforce guys and getting drunk myself with my cousin and girlfriends.

There was this creepy guy from the base who had a hook for a hand. He started pinching our asses with the pinchers of his hook hand. The party ended up on the airport and we couldn’t find our friend J.R. I was on the back of the 4-wheeler with our friend, Bob, who was driving.

We came upon the guy with the hook hand and stopped. He was in a pick up truck alone. He was heading down from the airport. We were heading up.

We asked him if he saw J.R. He pulled out a big ass pistol pointed it at Bob and me. He pulled the trigger and said, “J.R. is in the bushes bleeding”.

The only fucking reason I know what he said was because he missed.

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Footprints. He Carried me.

This is the truth. I lived through and have been firmly wrapped up in my filtered view which is the bad shit that happened to me and how I warped my own sense of reality to embrace and survive. I made myself out to be helping because my cousin’s life was so fucked up. I heard my parents talking about how much they were protecting him and that he required so much protection. So when he and his brother Billy V were babysitting me at the Trading Post, they had me on a bean bag. When my parents came home from the bar, I told them that they were being mean to me. I was a toddler. I didn’t know the right words. My parents cussed those boys out and told the they had to be nice to me.

So when he kept on doing that to me, I never said to my parents again that he was being mean to me. Because they didn’t stop having him around me. I was too little to know how to say it and my parents never thought of anything as vile as that to be aware of.

Miscommunication.

“Experts” love to talk about communication and two-way communication; and the lack thereof.

Communicating is wrongfully defined as talking and expressing

Communication is so much more.

Communication is listening, receiving information, coming to a conclusion about what the message was, and reacting, acting, or brushing off the message.

The silent message that the toddler/child receives because of the lack of action from their parents because they are a toddler and do not know how to say the exact thing. That disconnect warped my reality of feeling protected, safe, or secure. They don’t even know if what is happening to them is wrong after the predator wins over the parents and takes pleasure in the confusion the child is abandoned with.

He Carries Me

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Under Construction

I am working the next 30 days on re-organizing my blog and site pages.

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Etok, Charles Edwardson, Jr.

Throwback Story inspired from recently found journal

May 10, 2015 – Etok was in the news today. He died while whale hunting just like I imagine he would want to. Etok had principles and he made me defend mine.

_____________________________

I read Etok’s book, “A Story of Eskimo Power” in 2002. Mike Zacharoff from Saint Paul Island gave the book to me. At the time, I was the interim President/CEO for the Alaska Native Health Board. Mike was the Chairman.

Sometime in 2005, I traveled to Fort Yukon for the International Gathering of Gwitchii’n. I never been to Fort Yukon before. I saw that Julie Kitka, AFN President/CEO and Orie Williams, Doyon President/CEO were the main speakers. I was going to listen to the Gwitchiin people – nothing more.

And then, neither Julie Kitka or Orie Williams showed up.

I was shuffled off the plane, onto a 4-wheeler, to the front of the gathering and handed a microphone. II cannot stress heavily enough how much I was expecting to be a listener and learner, not a presenter – especially at this meeting, in this location, at that time. But, one must quickly adjust and adapt. So I did.

A few months before this day, I proposed a resolution to the Alaska Native Health Board of Directors that they approved. The Council of Athabaskan Tribal Governments (CATG) was a new member organization to ANHB; this was our new Gwitchiin member organization based in Fort Yukon.

The political environment in Washington DC held a strong likelihood that there could be an approval to open a small area within the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve for oil exploration.

My resolution was for our statewide Alaska Native organization to support the opening of ANWR provided some conditions were guaranteed. The resolution was approved by the 24-member organizations. The purpose of the resolution was:

* to create an Alaska Native Health “Endowment” Fund,

* Ensure that the federal government included language in the terms for oil exploration and drilling companies to be legally bound to effecting the Fund

* that as the President/CEO of ANHB, I would be guaranteed a seat at the negotiating table to ensure Alaska Native people interests were represented.

___________________

Believe me, I was not prepared to make this presentation “off the cuff” with no planning on how I might approach the presentation. Anyone who knows about the ANWR issue, likely knows the Gwitchiin people’s passionate opposition to the opening ANWR.

__________________

This is the day I met Etok.

__________________

This gathering was held outside on a beautiful day, along the riverbank of the great Yukon. I felt right at home in this setting. I grew up in McGrath, on the riverbank of the Kuskokwim.

That is what I began with when I found myself speaking. It helps me to say something that calms me or admits right away of my nervousness.

I talked about the drive from the airport to the gathering place. I noticed the dust and how that is hard for our elders to breathe with excessive dust. I stated that the Gwitchiin communities have been wrongfully overlooked with federal appropriations because of their opposition to ANWR. I talked about the state never living up to its inherent government function to provide infrastructure and services to its citizens.

Right about this time, someone asked for the volume of the microphone to go up because this was being aired over the radio.

WHHHHAAAAATTTT? I almost choked hearing that.

I told the people there exactly that. Then I just said something along the lines of, “I may as well just tell you my purpose of being here because who knows if I will still have this job after everything I just said – which now I know was aired on the radio!!”

I talked about the Alaska Tribal Health System, the self-governance and free will we had over our own destiny. I explained the purpose of the resolution to support the opening of ANWR.

I had the greatest day that day. I had a rare opportunity to interact with and hear the people tell me about their points of view.

One of those people was Etok. Etok was handed the microphone and he said (paraphrasing) – The Alaska Tribal Health System is failing. It may have been signed over to native people, but nothing else has changed. He was yelling at me.

I responded when he finished. I said, “You are absolutely right! I agree with everything you said. That is exactly why I believe we need to do things differently and try something different. That is what this resolution is for, to do something differently”..

The Gwitchiin Gathering approved the resolution that day. And I got to meet my hero, Etok. My fellow Eskimo.